Daughter dating funny one-liners, rules for Dating My Daughter
Rules for Dating My Daughter
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Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness.
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, dating armenian the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.
My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.
If I ask you where you are going, and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. You do not touch my daughter in front of me.
If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.
Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? The camouflaged face at the window is mine!
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. Old folks homes are better.
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Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.
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